Wilde had an uneasy friendship with the artist James McNeill Whistler. In the autumn of 1883 Punch parodied one of their conversations about the Divine Sarah. Wilde cabled to Whistler, ”Punch too ridiculous. When you and I are together we never talk about anything but ourselves.”
Whistler cabled back: “No, no Oscar when you and I are together we never talk about anything except me.” Wilde however had the last word:”It’s true, Jimmy we talk about you, but I think of myself.”
Disaster Strikes
His downfall was much of his own making. Even when it was clear his abortive charges of criminal libel would fail, and despite of well meaning advice to flee the country he remained as though resigned to his fate.
To one who asked him to turn to France he remarked, ”One can’t keep going abroad unless one is a missionary or a commercial traveller,- which comes to the same thing.
To one actor he cracked, ”Have no fear, the working classes are with me- to a boy.”
Two actors who were both appearing in Wilde’s West End hits (An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest)came across the playwright in the street and they were embarrassed. Before they could duck Wilde asked them if they knew what it was Queensberry, his archenemy was saying about him. Uneasily they declared they heard nothing. “Then I’ll tell you,” said Wilde, ”He actually had the effrontery to say that ‘The Importance of...’ was better acted than An Ideal Husband. Naturally I had to sue.”
There were certain lighter moments in the court. While recreating scenes at one of the male brothels situated at Westminster, he was asked, ”Was it in a bad neighborhood?”
“I know nothing about that_ it was near the House of Commons.” Was his reply.
compiler: benny
Monday, 28 July 2008
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Bookends
“There is no such thing as a good or bad book; the reading public will always read much more into a written word, missing the intentions of the author or let the writer catch up with them. In such a give and take, who can tell?”
benny
benny
Saturday, 5 July 2008
A Tale
TALE OF A HUMANOID ©
Call Me X-11 O-7. I am a humanoid. Something went wrong at the assembly line: so I end up as a humanoid with an attitude. Nothing more than a grudge. But that will do.
Consider my Batch number. X-11. That shows I am to work in tandem with X-10. His name among us humanoids is Smith. An O.K guy who lets me throws up a tantrum or two. He says while I was being assembled my boss pushed a wrong button or something. ( I had a sneaking suspicion why I was cut up about my boss from the very start.)
Ergo. I am a humanoid. X-10. The emotional One.
The star from where we conduct our research has opened a file on homo sapiens. Pretty routine stuff. Just as separate files for each species elsewhere. The X-series is totally fitted with artificial intelligence to keep track of mankind. (My proficiency in understanding the species is indicated by O-7 tag.) I am pretty taken up with my elective subject. Some love pottering away with humus and mulch. Some study newts. And I study humans. So what?
The way my boss tries to trip me up each time is pathetic. Like the day he called me to his office; “Urgent!” Liquid Crystal Display of my Memo Pad showed.
At that moment I was on the shop-floor getting my timer fixed. It tended to go a nanosecond or two out of sync. But I dropped everything and went to him. Number One had a deck of cards. Without a word in greeting he flashed one and said,”What do you see here?” He expected me to show my level of proficiency. I was game. So I said, ”homo sapiens, male of the species, Adam, a cipher, John Doe or Mr.Smith. He showed another card. Instantly I trotted my reply, “Female of the species, Eve, Mother, sister, daughter..”Number One chortled and with a smug look he put the cards away. He said triumphantly,” You are wrong!” Pointing to the card he explained,”This also is a man!” Thoroughly enjoying my discomfiture he said,” a transvestite or cross-dresser.”
I was so angry that I was at loss for words. He added nastily, ”Your level is not satisfactory. You have a lot of catching up to do.” He ordered me to leave for the earth right then and there. He had already set my Memo Pad with instructions with the click of a switch. Before I could say ‘digital’ I was literally kicked down the stairs.
When the lights flickered on my LCD panel the first instructions came through in malevolent colors:’ You are before the homo erectus. Check him out.”’
Quickly I scanned my Personal Data File for cross reference under Homo Erectus. It sure came handy to transform myself a copy of the prototype. There under a purple sky in the savannah I spotted him as large as life. “ Whew, this is the patriarch of human race!” I said with admiration. It thrilled me to see that my disguise matched his whisker for whisker and scab for scab. Loping towards him my gait was just as his was.
Mine may be Artificial Intelligence, but it was quite a smart piece of wiring, to scan his electrochemical surge, which my sudden appearance had caused in him. My inputs into my e-page came up with result. So he had a reason: Jealousy. He was jealous that I came there as a competitor. In a series of grunts and growls he said,” This savannah cannot hold two of us together. Either one of us gotta go before the sun breaks tomorrow.” I nodded.
That night I slept hardly. I got away before the dawn broke through.
I found to my dismay that my timer mechanism again showed up erratic. A difference of nano seconds had cut a wide swath now to show difference of days and then months and years. My next assignment was to check out a wonderful star over Bethlehem. House of Bread, my PDF quoted :’ Bread for all and Peace on Earth’ It sounded nonsense to me. It was left to me to check out.
It was on an upbeat mood that I left for Israel. The star had come and gone. Instead there were terrible scenes of mayhem and cruelty. As I careened towards the City of Peace, there was large commotion outside its gates. Some said,” Crucify him!” A few said “ We have no King but Caesar.”
I made myself into a Syrian. I walked over to a Jew who looked sad. Engaging him into a conversation was as trying as getting him to stick to the topic on hand. His mind wandered. He said that he was a fisherman and yet he said he was leaving for Rome. I wondered why a fisherman would want to leave his livelihood for a city where fishing was hardly possible. ‘My master showed me a sign and asked, Quo Vadis?’ He said in bad Latin.
Was he obstinate! So peculiar he was that he served the Prince of Peace. Yet he was hardly in peace with himself. He had some grudge against someone named Paulus. So I let him alone.
My next command was an assignment to which I took with great excitement. I was to meet some Pilgrim Fathers arriving at the Promised Land. So I checked my PDF and would have gone to Plymouth Rock. Instead I landed in Washington DC where I saw the President. Boy oh boy! He was impossible just as the fisherman who was all for fishing in Rome! Obstinate and woolly headed. He was for ridding the world of a tyrant by putting to torch some thousands of innocent civilians all across Iraq.
Finally mulling over evidences on hand, I turned in my report.
Even as I was pulled out of my assignments and found myself once again before my boss, I could sense a storm; I braced myself for it. Going over my workpage he read it loud enunciating each word slowly.’ Homo sapiens. A misguided and miserable species who will not mind cutting their nose to spite their face.’
‘ Neat uh?’ I asked hopefully.
For the next ten minutes Number One let out his anger, and decided my report showed a bad attitude. Besides he took exception to my timing.’ I asked you to check the appearance of a comet and what do I get?”He breathed fury. ” Instead of a scientific analysis I get a load of religion and some trivial pieces of man’s stupidity. What I expected was exobiology and not theology!”
I cried all the way to my workplace. Smith came up to me and said,’ There you need not take it too hard.’
I took hold of myself to say, “ I had half a mind to tick him off. At one point he said,’ Worth of your report is no more than a pinhead. Almost I said,’ It is all that your pea-sized brain could contain.”
“ No, you did not say that!” Smith was aghast.
“ I said , Almost.”
“ It was a good one for a retort. Wasn’t it? That reminds me, my timer is out of sync!” I could not help laughing and I observed,” I suppose I am a wit of the downstairs.”
The End
Call Me X-11 O-7. I am a humanoid. Something went wrong at the assembly line: so I end up as a humanoid with an attitude. Nothing more than a grudge. But that will do.
Consider my Batch number. X-11. That shows I am to work in tandem with X-10. His name among us humanoids is Smith. An O.K guy who lets me throws up a tantrum or two. He says while I was being assembled my boss pushed a wrong button or something. ( I had a sneaking suspicion why I was cut up about my boss from the very start.)
Ergo. I am a humanoid. X-10. The emotional One.
The star from where we conduct our research has opened a file on homo sapiens. Pretty routine stuff. Just as separate files for each species elsewhere. The X-series is totally fitted with artificial intelligence to keep track of mankind. (My proficiency in understanding the species is indicated by O-7 tag.) I am pretty taken up with my elective subject. Some love pottering away with humus and mulch. Some study newts. And I study humans. So what?
The way my boss tries to trip me up each time is pathetic. Like the day he called me to his office; “Urgent!” Liquid Crystal Display of my Memo Pad showed.
At that moment I was on the shop-floor getting my timer fixed. It tended to go a nanosecond or two out of sync. But I dropped everything and went to him. Number One had a deck of cards. Without a word in greeting he flashed one and said,”What do you see here?” He expected me to show my level of proficiency. I was game. So I said, ”homo sapiens, male of the species, Adam, a cipher, John Doe or Mr.Smith. He showed another card. Instantly I trotted my reply, “Female of the species, Eve, Mother, sister, daughter..”Number One chortled and with a smug look he put the cards away. He said triumphantly,” You are wrong!” Pointing to the card he explained,”This also is a man!” Thoroughly enjoying my discomfiture he said,” a transvestite or cross-dresser.”
I was so angry that I was at loss for words. He added nastily, ”Your level is not satisfactory. You have a lot of catching up to do.” He ordered me to leave for the earth right then and there. He had already set my Memo Pad with instructions with the click of a switch. Before I could say ‘digital’ I was literally kicked down the stairs.
When the lights flickered on my LCD panel the first instructions came through in malevolent colors:’ You are before the homo erectus. Check him out.”’
Quickly I scanned my Personal Data File for cross reference under Homo Erectus. It sure came handy to transform myself a copy of the prototype. There under a purple sky in the savannah I spotted him as large as life. “ Whew, this is the patriarch of human race!” I said with admiration. It thrilled me to see that my disguise matched his whisker for whisker and scab for scab. Loping towards him my gait was just as his was.
Mine may be Artificial Intelligence, but it was quite a smart piece of wiring, to scan his electrochemical surge, which my sudden appearance had caused in him. My inputs into my e-page came up with result. So he had a reason: Jealousy. He was jealous that I came there as a competitor. In a series of grunts and growls he said,” This savannah cannot hold two of us together. Either one of us gotta go before the sun breaks tomorrow.” I nodded.
That night I slept hardly. I got away before the dawn broke through.
I found to my dismay that my timer mechanism again showed up erratic. A difference of nano seconds had cut a wide swath now to show difference of days and then months and years. My next assignment was to check out a wonderful star over Bethlehem. House of Bread, my PDF quoted :’ Bread for all and Peace on Earth’ It sounded nonsense to me. It was left to me to check out.
It was on an upbeat mood that I left for Israel. The star had come and gone. Instead there were terrible scenes of mayhem and cruelty. As I careened towards the City of Peace, there was large commotion outside its gates. Some said,” Crucify him!” A few said “ We have no King but Caesar.”
I made myself into a Syrian. I walked over to a Jew who looked sad. Engaging him into a conversation was as trying as getting him to stick to the topic on hand. His mind wandered. He said that he was a fisherman and yet he said he was leaving for Rome. I wondered why a fisherman would want to leave his livelihood for a city where fishing was hardly possible. ‘My master showed me a sign and asked, Quo Vadis?’ He said in bad Latin.
Was he obstinate! So peculiar he was that he served the Prince of Peace. Yet he was hardly in peace with himself. He had some grudge against someone named Paulus. So I let him alone.
My next command was an assignment to which I took with great excitement. I was to meet some Pilgrim Fathers arriving at the Promised Land. So I checked my PDF and would have gone to Plymouth Rock. Instead I landed in Washington DC where I saw the President. Boy oh boy! He was impossible just as the fisherman who was all for fishing in Rome! Obstinate and woolly headed. He was for ridding the world of a tyrant by putting to torch some thousands of innocent civilians all across Iraq.
Finally mulling over evidences on hand, I turned in my report.
Even as I was pulled out of my assignments and found myself once again before my boss, I could sense a storm; I braced myself for it. Going over my workpage he read it loud enunciating each word slowly.’ Homo sapiens. A misguided and miserable species who will not mind cutting their nose to spite their face.’
‘ Neat uh?’ I asked hopefully.
For the next ten minutes Number One let out his anger, and decided my report showed a bad attitude. Besides he took exception to my timing.’ I asked you to check the appearance of a comet and what do I get?”He breathed fury. ” Instead of a scientific analysis I get a load of religion and some trivial pieces of man’s stupidity. What I expected was exobiology and not theology!”
I cried all the way to my workplace. Smith came up to me and said,’ There you need not take it too hard.’
I took hold of myself to say, “ I had half a mind to tick him off. At one point he said,’ Worth of your report is no more than a pinhead. Almost I said,’ It is all that your pea-sized brain could contain.”
“ No, you did not say that!” Smith was aghast.
“ I said , Almost.”
“ It was a good one for a retort. Wasn’t it? That reminds me, my timer is out of sync!” I could not help laughing and I observed,” I suppose I am a wit of the downstairs.”
The End
Sunday, 29 June 2008
A Love Story
Most Honourable Bear ©
By
Benny Thomas
Spirits watch over the Ainu people. These aborgines who inhabit parts of Hokkaido island in Japan know it has been so. Through years of drought and leanness. In the midst of famine those spirits had unleashed their power in such mysterious ways they have no other explanation. Kamui (spiritual beings) carefully see to their well-being. Naturally these people revere them by lighting inau or prayer sticks. Old Ainu( pronounced eye-noo) take special care to please two gods in particular: god of harmony and god of opposites.
Once the quarrel between these two gods became more sharper then ever before. “The sky has kissed the earth. Peace must follow. Most honourable Bear would make it so.”said god of harmony while the other saw nothing but trouble. One whole day they argued back and forth while the island of Hokkaido lay in ruins after a run of calamities, seven years in a row. More willow-trees were cut and more incense sticks were lit; and the smoke filled the nostrils of those who lived in the spirit world. They stepped in to make peace between the two.
Thus Most Honourable Bear was sent on the earth. After sending him well provided for, the spirits waited for things to happen.
Most Honourable Bear known by name Kayano had a change of pelts and he knew what he must do. While descending over the island he scanned the villages and the hunting grounds of the people whom he was required to watch over.
It was the month of October. He saw a girl among many and her beauty struck him. He wanted to hasten to her side. The god of opposites whispered into his ears,”She is a mortal,Kayano. She will lose all her beauty which affect you now so much.” God of harmony whispered quietly,”But she will make you complete. Love is the key!”
“Bah!”the other god snorted,”Misery is another name.”When god of opposites snorted the sound was covered by a splash, which startled the girl. She was called Katanto. She was busy gathering bunches of algae from Lake Akan, which were needed for the coming festival. Yes, she saw Kayano who had taken a human form and was rising from the waters.
The two gods watched on with interest. They were of course invisible to her.
Kayano seemed as if he were in danger. Katanto shrieked in horror at the sight of a young man who was going down for the third time. She swam and reached him first. She managed to bring him to safety. Other girls lit a fire and brought him some hot broth. When Kayano opened his eyes he thought he saw his rescuer was the most beautiful thing on earth. He smiled boldly and she blushed in return. “I know,”he said after he had revived,”you are by far the best thing in this world!””No those curls of smoke going up from the roof of a chisei,” she said with her head turned down,”it is far lovelier.” He was sure it was not since it had to be lit by some hand. “The hand that lights the stone stove and keeps the fire from going out is lovelier than any smoke.”He heard one god saying in his ear,”Must you be so quick as to declare your love?”The other whispered in his turn,”Must you break her heart so lightly?”
Kayano could not help and he pursued her and she finally agreed to marry him. She took him to her father who was the elder of the village. He explained how the village was cursed because of a famine. “A family in such lean time as this scrapes the barrel of misery.”he said stroking his flowing beard sadly, “Can you not wait till we all have had peace and prosperity?”
“But I love Katanto so much.”
“Such haste is becoming in the young. But with age comes that sad understanding as I have; So I must say, No.”
“Father!”his daughter shrieked unable to contain herself,” it will be the death of me!”
While her father tried to comfort the sobbing girl the two gods were counselling Kayano. Both gods had made it very plain. One ended,”Most Honourable Bear, you have sown love and must reap death!” He was torn with pain and asked god of harmony,”Isn’t there something which shall bind love and death into one?”
“Sorry, Most Honourable Bear,”both gods said slightly embarrassed,”the matter entirely rests with the girl.”
Kayano was allowed by both to meet the girl once for the last time. Before he spoke she surprised him by saying,”I am sure of my love for you. Nothing in this world shall separate me from you.”
“Nothing shall stop me from death which now awaits me, Farewell!” Before parting he gave a bearskin to her and said,”Think of me ever!”
After that Katanto was no more seen in that village. It seemed all so mysterious that all of a sudden two bears were spotted in the neighbourhood. Those hunters who had hung up their bows and arrows having nothing to hunt became so excited. One evening they went in formation to stalk a bear which one had seen at the Nibutani area. At last he was corned and one hurled a spear, which would have found its mark. To their amazement a female bear hurled herself and got the point right in her chest. When one hunter checked her, along came the other with a great howl and impaled himself in a shower of arrows. How it came all together was so uncanny. They didn’t know what but villagers knew they appeared in order to heal the land.
Since that time bears were always plentiful to them.
Only the gods knew the truth. Katanto had died in order to be one with her beloved. Of course they thought it all a waste. ‘Why die when you are a god?’ Most Honourable Bear was sent to make peace between the sky and earth. He needed not have died. In the end they had to agree the land of Hokkaido was in peace indeed. There were nightly singing there. Peace such as that comes after an agreeable feast; such peace that comes from certainty of abundance. In that knowledge old men could dream on while the youth hunted, and made their hearths once more a haven for their future.
God of Opposites had to agree: in their love Kayano and Katanto brought harmony into two opposites.
The End
By
Benny Thomas
Spirits watch over the Ainu people. These aborgines who inhabit parts of Hokkaido island in Japan know it has been so. Through years of drought and leanness. In the midst of famine those spirits had unleashed their power in such mysterious ways they have no other explanation. Kamui (spiritual beings) carefully see to their well-being. Naturally these people revere them by lighting inau or prayer sticks. Old Ainu( pronounced eye-noo) take special care to please two gods in particular: god of harmony and god of opposites.
Once the quarrel between these two gods became more sharper then ever before. “The sky has kissed the earth. Peace must follow. Most honourable Bear would make it so.”said god of harmony while the other saw nothing but trouble. One whole day they argued back and forth while the island of Hokkaido lay in ruins after a run of calamities, seven years in a row. More willow-trees were cut and more incense sticks were lit; and the smoke filled the nostrils of those who lived in the spirit world. They stepped in to make peace between the two.
Thus Most Honourable Bear was sent on the earth. After sending him well provided for, the spirits waited for things to happen.
Most Honourable Bear known by name Kayano had a change of pelts and he knew what he must do. While descending over the island he scanned the villages and the hunting grounds of the people whom he was required to watch over.
It was the month of October. He saw a girl among many and her beauty struck him. He wanted to hasten to her side. The god of opposites whispered into his ears,”She is a mortal,Kayano. She will lose all her beauty which affect you now so much.” God of harmony whispered quietly,”But she will make you complete. Love is the key!”
“Bah!”the other god snorted,”Misery is another name.”When god of opposites snorted the sound was covered by a splash, which startled the girl. She was called Katanto. She was busy gathering bunches of algae from Lake Akan, which were needed for the coming festival. Yes, she saw Kayano who had taken a human form and was rising from the waters.
The two gods watched on with interest. They were of course invisible to her.
Kayano seemed as if he were in danger. Katanto shrieked in horror at the sight of a young man who was going down for the third time. She swam and reached him first. She managed to bring him to safety. Other girls lit a fire and brought him some hot broth. When Kayano opened his eyes he thought he saw his rescuer was the most beautiful thing on earth. He smiled boldly and she blushed in return. “I know,”he said after he had revived,”you are by far the best thing in this world!””No those curls of smoke going up from the roof of a chisei,” she said with her head turned down,”it is far lovelier.” He was sure it was not since it had to be lit by some hand. “The hand that lights the stone stove and keeps the fire from going out is lovelier than any smoke.”He heard one god saying in his ear,”Must you be so quick as to declare your love?”The other whispered in his turn,”Must you break her heart so lightly?”
Kayano could not help and he pursued her and she finally agreed to marry him. She took him to her father who was the elder of the village. He explained how the village was cursed because of a famine. “A family in such lean time as this scrapes the barrel of misery.”he said stroking his flowing beard sadly, “Can you not wait till we all have had peace and prosperity?”
“But I love Katanto so much.”
“Such haste is becoming in the young. But with age comes that sad understanding as I have; So I must say, No.”
“Father!”his daughter shrieked unable to contain herself,” it will be the death of me!”
While her father tried to comfort the sobbing girl the two gods were counselling Kayano. Both gods had made it very plain. One ended,”Most Honourable Bear, you have sown love and must reap death!” He was torn with pain and asked god of harmony,”Isn’t there something which shall bind love and death into one?”
“Sorry, Most Honourable Bear,”both gods said slightly embarrassed,”the matter entirely rests with the girl.”
Kayano was allowed by both to meet the girl once for the last time. Before he spoke she surprised him by saying,”I am sure of my love for you. Nothing in this world shall separate me from you.”
“Nothing shall stop me from death which now awaits me, Farewell!” Before parting he gave a bearskin to her and said,”Think of me ever!”
After that Katanto was no more seen in that village. It seemed all so mysterious that all of a sudden two bears were spotted in the neighbourhood. Those hunters who had hung up their bows and arrows having nothing to hunt became so excited. One evening they went in formation to stalk a bear which one had seen at the Nibutani area. At last he was corned and one hurled a spear, which would have found its mark. To their amazement a female bear hurled herself and got the point right in her chest. When one hunter checked her, along came the other with a great howl and impaled himself in a shower of arrows. How it came all together was so uncanny. They didn’t know what but villagers knew they appeared in order to heal the land.
Since that time bears were always plentiful to them.
Only the gods knew the truth. Katanto had died in order to be one with her beloved. Of course they thought it all a waste. ‘Why die when you are a god?’ Most Honourable Bear was sent to make peace between the sky and earth. He needed not have died. In the end they had to agree the land of Hokkaido was in peace indeed. There were nightly singing there. Peace such as that comes after an agreeable feast; such peace that comes from certainty of abundance. In that knowledge old men could dream on while the youth hunted, and made their hearths once more a haven for their future.
God of Opposites had to agree: in their love Kayano and Katanto brought harmony into two opposites.
The End
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Collateral Damage of Life
If so much as long life beyond
Mortal hour-glass may be burdened;
Each grain nudging an age thereof
Past its pursed mouth to eternity; enough
For hills to powder crumble
And the hollows levelled to brim
I shall still think: one brief hour was
All that needed for such a man as I:
An hour rounded off by happiness.
If so much as long life beyond
Pleasure of senses or of mind did last
Life would have lost its best part,
For a man such as I: Devoid of feel
A head though with facts be filled
Has come far too short on living;
Unsettled as I am, one perfect hour was
All that needed for such a man as I :
An hour rounded off by happiness.
Wrapped in tears and laughter of mankind
Either way a perfect fit I may never find.
benny
01-17-07
Mortal hour-glass may be burdened;
Each grain nudging an age thereof
Past its pursed mouth to eternity; enough
For hills to powder crumble
And the hollows levelled to brim
I shall still think: one brief hour was
All that needed for such a man as I:
An hour rounded off by happiness.
If so much as long life beyond
Pleasure of senses or of mind did last
Life would have lost its best part,
For a man such as I: Devoid of feel
A head though with facts be filled
Has come far too short on living;
Unsettled as I am, one perfect hour was
All that needed for such a man as I :
An hour rounded off by happiness.
Wrapped in tears and laughter of mankind
Either way a perfect fit I may never find.
benny
01-17-07
Friday, 20 June 2008
Thursday, 19 June 2008
Anecdotes
You Asked For It!
1.
Once at the Algonquin round table, Dorothy Parker reported sadly,”My old cat, that I’ve loved so dearly has grown so feeble and helpless that I’m going to have him put away.”She added she was wondering the most humane way to do it. It elicited this comment from Playwright George S. Kaufman: “Have you thought of curiosity?”
2.
“I understand your grandfather was a Negro, monsieur” a nobleman once asked Alexandre Dumas,”May I enquire what your great grandfather was?”
“An ape, sir,”replied Dumas,”My pedigree commences where your terminates.”
3.
WH Russel of the Times once approached Bismarck and reminded him,”Your Excellency, you’ll have to admit that I am one newspaperman who has respected yor confidence. You have conversed with me on all sorts of subjects and never once I repeated a word you said.”
Bismarck cried angrily: “The more fool you are! Do you suppose I’d ever say a word to a man in your profession that I didn’t want to see in print?”
4.
Noel Coward was once approached by a reporter for the London Star, who asked,” Mr. Coward, would you like to say something to the Star?”
“Certainly,”replied the playwright,”Twinkle.”
5.
The first US Presidential Press Conference was granted by John Quincy Adams, but unwillingly. The President was swimming in the Potomac river when a newspaper woman Anne Royall surprised him. She sat on his clothes and vowed that she wouldn’t budge until he gave her an interview.
The Potomac was chilly and Adams finally granted her request.
6.
As a rookie reporter for the New York World, young Heywood Brown was told to interview Utah senator Reed Smart.
“I have nothing to say,”Smart told him.
“I know,”replied Brown,”Now let’s get down to the interview.”
• Heywood Brown, one of the kindliest newspaperman ever, wasn’t much of an executive. While running a publication called The Connecticut Nutmeg, its managing board gave him discretionary powers to hire hands at $35 a week. He could go up to $50 maximum.
On the appointed day the job- seekers were called in and Brown queried,”Which would you prefer- $35 a week or $50?”
compiler:benny
1.
Once at the Algonquin round table, Dorothy Parker reported sadly,”My old cat, that I’ve loved so dearly has grown so feeble and helpless that I’m going to have him put away.”She added she was wondering the most humane way to do it. It elicited this comment from Playwright George S. Kaufman: “Have you thought of curiosity?”
2.
“I understand your grandfather was a Negro, monsieur” a nobleman once asked Alexandre Dumas,”May I enquire what your great grandfather was?”
“An ape, sir,”replied Dumas,”My pedigree commences where your terminates.”
3.
WH Russel of the Times once approached Bismarck and reminded him,”Your Excellency, you’ll have to admit that I am one newspaperman who has respected yor confidence. You have conversed with me on all sorts of subjects and never once I repeated a word you said.”
Bismarck cried angrily: “The more fool you are! Do you suppose I’d ever say a word to a man in your profession that I didn’t want to see in print?”
4.
Noel Coward was once approached by a reporter for the London Star, who asked,” Mr. Coward, would you like to say something to the Star?”
“Certainly,”replied the playwright,”Twinkle.”
5.
The first US Presidential Press Conference was granted by John Quincy Adams, but unwillingly. The President was swimming in the Potomac river when a newspaper woman Anne Royall surprised him. She sat on his clothes and vowed that she wouldn’t budge until he gave her an interview.
The Potomac was chilly and Adams finally granted her request.
6.
As a rookie reporter for the New York World, young Heywood Brown was told to interview Utah senator Reed Smart.
“I have nothing to say,”Smart told him.
“I know,”replied Brown,”Now let’s get down to the interview.”
• Heywood Brown, one of the kindliest newspaperman ever, wasn’t much of an executive. While running a publication called The Connecticut Nutmeg, its managing board gave him discretionary powers to hire hands at $35 a week. He could go up to $50 maximum.
On the appointed day the job- seekers were called in and Brown queried,”Which would you prefer- $35 a week or $50?”
compiler:benny
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